Merle Haggard has been forced to cancel shows during his tour due to health, and in a recent interview, he reveals that his family wants him to stop touring altogether. Garden and Gun magazine interviewed the country singer admitted that his family wanted him to stop touring, but said “I can’t. I feel it’s a double-edged sword.

It’s what keeps me alive and it’s what f–ks up my life. It’s hard to have a family, so I try and split it up. I try to build a life here of a reasonable sort, and then go and jump on the bus.” The star also admits that he bought a tour bus that his family didn’t approve of. Due to hospitalization of pneumonia, Haggard will be staying off of the road for at least another month.